Archives For Transgender Acceptance

Good afternoon my bitches! I must apologize for the lengthy absence here, alas, life (and work) oftentimes gets in the way.

With that out of the way, let’s get down to business shall we? What an exciting (and at times a nit anxiety filled) weekend. The weather is starting to get downright toasty here are Summer fast approaches (it was 90 degrees yesterday) and I think everyone knows what that means. Yes, pool and swim season. And guess what my bitches? I went out bought some swimwear! Yikes!

It’s been on my mind a bit lately as I’m planning a trip to the Caribbean this Fall. I love snorkeling and am PADI certified and would love to immerse myself in those clear, warm waters again. But what to wear?

Between my undersized male breasts and my silicone forms I’ve found beach wear a bit of a dilemma. With the tops of most suits tending to “emphasize” a woman’s attributes, trying to go “au natural” will be (or seem to me) a bit obvious. As will stuffing any swimwear with my silicone forms. It’s one thing to hide the sides and color of the forms under a bra beneath a dress or a blouse, but with many swim tops, it would be quite evident that my bosom is anything but natural.

To that end I’ve been looking for tops that are a bit more modest such as rash guards, lap suits (image right) asLapsuit they seem to have plenty of coverage. And as I said at the top of the post, it’s getting warm where I live so I sucked it up and a friend and I sent shopping.

Aside from being initially confused by the different sizing (we went to a plus-sized shop) it all went well. And that’s when it hit me. I was trying my second top and looking in the mirror and for the first time I did not see a male body staring back at me. I saw a female body. Then I put on the next top, and it fit! And it looked great! (See featured image). And as I was looking in the mirror I realized then: the size is just a number. I looked good in the top, it looked good on me, and it fit well. That is all that mattered. I was extremely excited and just wanted to get out of the store, go home, and go to the pool! I can’t remember a feeling of such “femaleness” since I transitioned and I love it! I love me! And I love my journey as Denise!

Till next time my bitches!

Ciao,
denise

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Next Steps

March 27, 2017 — Leave a comment

Well my bitches, the weekend is over. (For some of my not so gentle readers it probably already is Monday in fact).

The last year or so has been an exciting ride for sure. I may have acted like a little school girl at times (and probably will for some time now) as I’ve discovered and opened up to my authentic self. That said, now that I’m settling into living a female persona full-time, expect the tone of my posts to change a bit. Not to worry my bitches, there will still be the posts on make-up, clothes, and shopping, but I plan on working towards a more advocacy and support manner for those in the LBGTQ communities.

I will share articles on, particularly, struggles or issues with those who identify as trans. That means support for those fighting bathroom bills in less than open states (i.e. Texas and North Carolina), or to do what I can to educate people on what it really means to be trans.

I will also endeavor, and continue, to support feminism and to help point out behaviours and attitudes that are harmful or that continue to perpetuate a culture of privilege and expectation against women.

A Big Step Forward

February 14, 2017 — Leave a comment

Hello my bitches! Today was a huge step forward for me! I had a follow-up meeting with the VP of HR for my company. In short, I have the green light and thumbs up to move forward with my plan to transition. Not that I had any doubts.

And, the meeting just confirmed what an amazing company I work for. To begin with I was told I have the full support of my company. Then followed a few questions from “legal”

  1. Will I prefer that my co-workers use male, female, or gender neutral pronouns?
  2. Will I transition gradually (some days male, some female) or transition all at once and just start working from that day out as Denise?
  3.  Will I change my name, or go by a different name?
  4. Will I want a new photo badge, and nameplate for my cube?
  5. And, the all important: Which restroom did I plan on using?

To me, questions two and five are related and I had thought about them for a while. For example, when I am out and about as Denise, I do use the lady’s room now. But, most of the places I go are single stall restrooms so it’s not a big issue. But at work it could be a different matter if one day I’m dressed in male attire, and the next female. I don’t think it fair to my co-workers to see me in the men’s room one day, and the ladies next. But, if I’ve fully transitioned, and coming to work as Denise every day, then that is a different matter.At that point I would have no qualms using the ladies room every day. Therefore, my answer was that my plan would be to complete a full switch: One day I’d come to work as my male presentation, talk to my team members, then the next work day (probably after a weekend) show up to work as Denise. And from that point on, use the ladies room.

And the first question (and the third) are related. I do prefer that my co-workers use female pronouns with me (she, her, etc). As for a name change, I still haven’t decided. Several co-workers already use my gender neutral moniker: D. That works, but in some sense it goes against my wish for co-workers to use female pronouns. At the same time, “D” is a cute nickname I can still use while officially going by Denise. Thoughts my bitches?

So now everything is in place at work and the pieces are moving. Next week I have my first session with a specialist in gender identity issues and I plan to see her fully dressed as Denise. Then, it’s more a matter of enough wardrobe and timing along with a plan (hopefully) blessed and approved by said therapist. If all goes well, I hope to walk into work on the first day of Spring (20 March) as Denise and never look back.

Ciao my bitches,
denise

Good evening my bitches! Or, good night (it’s even late here).

Well, what a weekend, actually longer, towards life full-time life as Denise. First, let me follow-up with the Groundhog Day happy hour. Let’s just say I was beaming.

I shut down a little after 4:00 PM, touched up my make-up and changed from the pale pink blouse with black lace on the sides, to a grey turtleneck sweater over the floral pencil skirt, and donned my new pink pumps. I would have loved to wear the other top but it was 18 degrees outside and that pink blouse is sleeveless!

When I arrived at the bar my co-worker L and her boyfriend were there already. I walked in and received a loving “Denise, you made it!” along with a warm hug from L. I sat down at the bar and the waitress slid right up “What can I get you ladies?” I’m smiling on the inside and just feeling warm all over despite the cold. Shortly after my former co-worker M arrives. She walks in, looks around and sees L, then her eyes widen in a giant smile and comes over for another huge hug. And the night just kept up. Good friends, accepting me, letting me be the girl I am. We all had a wonderful time, lots of hugs all around.

I ordered a pizza to be delivered to the bar (it’s actually a distillery and as such doesn’t have a license to server food) and took it home to my girlfriend. She was sick and couldn’t make it so I just went and had my fun. And that’s where it gets even better. She had let herself into my flat and got cozy while I was at happy hour. So, I get home in my new outfit, walk in give her hugs and kisses and start getting undressed as if this has been my whole life. Off comes the wig, then the sweater and heels. I’m standing at the vanity in pantyhose and camisole taking off my make-up. Just another day in the life 🙂

Friday wasn’t much to write about. Just work then a quiet evening at home while my girlfriend tried to recoup. But Saturday…

We had originally planned for our salon day together Wednesday after work. But since she wasn’t feeling well I went and got my nails done and rescheduled Y for Saturday morning. We had discussed plans for shopping and since I wanted to be dressed, I said it made sense for me to go with her to the salon as Denise. So, up and at ’em Saturday morning. I get dressed in my black pencil skirt and that same grey sweater I wore Thursday for happy hour.

The salon was pretty boring. We sat and chatted while she was getting her nails done and then I moved to the massage chair for some relaxation time. It was about lunch when she was finished so off to a diner for food: her with her new nails, me in my Saturday “business” suit. Not much to tell other than us girls having fun and food. Then, off to big box store number one so I could try and find a decent purse at a reasonable price to replace my tiny clutch.While there I also found a few accessories like more earrings, and two necklaces.

We dropped our first purchases off at my flat and were back at it. This time, to a different big box retailer. This one catering more towards clothing in general. We both shopped around for a while and we had picked out several outfits  to try on so off to the dressing room (we each chose separate stalls). One of my most amazing picks was a pair of skinny jeans to go with several of my tops. I had done some online shopping to try and get an estimate for sizing in jeans. I was not happy. Based on my current men’s jean and comparable sizing charts I figured I was going to be a 24 in women’s. And that’s what size I started with. Much to my surprise they were big! And way big! I went back out and found a pair of 20’s and 22’s and back to the fitting room. I started with the 20’s thinking I’d go low, then come back up. Guess what bitches? The 20’s were big so back out again! In the end, I wound up with a 16 skinny jeans! And even then those were  a bit big!

We finally finished and headed out with our purchases and back to my flat where I changed into those newly bought jeans and top and we’re off to dinner: two sexy ladies out on the town!

There’s a lot more, particularly for Sunday, but it’s late and I’m tired. I’ll recap the rest om Monday. Until then check out the featured pick with one of my purchases.

Ciao my lovelies!
denise

Well my bitches, time to get a bit political tonight. It seems the leader of our nation, or his administration, deems it appropriate to draft an executive order to broaden the definition of what defines religious organizations. As reported on MSN, the executive order would ‘broaden religious freedom protections to “any organization, including closely held for-profit corporations, operated for a religious purpose, even if its purpose is not exclusively religious.”‘

The draft states “Persons and organizations do not forfeit their religious freedom when providing social services, education, or healthcare; earning a living, seeking a job, or employing others; receiving government grants or contracts: or otherwise participating in the marketplace, the public square, or interfacing with Federal, State or local governments”. In short, a person, or business, could refuse service and claim they were following their religious beliefs. Based on the wording of the order not only could the person or business be able to do so, any person, or entity (including a city, state or government) that said you have to provide services to all people, then that person or entity would be in violation. Let’s take the Kim Davis story from last year after the Supreme Courts ruled that same-sex couples were afforded the same privileges as heterosexual couples. Even as a state employee, the order would protect Ms. Davis for upholding her religious belief that marriage is between a man and a woman, while denying the civil rights of the same sex couple wishing to seek a marriage license.

So, while I do agree that no single person can “forfeit their religious freedom”, meaning a person can choose to believe what they want, that doesn’t mean that freedom extends to the point that it denies the civil rights, or belief system, of another. In other words, I can be a Christian, and I can believe a god created the Earth and universe, but that doesn’t give me the right to force others to believe as I do. That, my bitches, is religious freedom: Everyone is free to believe in whomever, whatever, or even nothing.

I won’t go into more detail of the order and start a religious or political debate, but I want to throw out some potential unintended consequences of this order if signed. Will those same protections extend if, for example, a Muslim florist refuses to fulfill and order for a Christian wedding? Could a practitioner of Rastafari be prosecuted for use of cannabis?

It will be interesting to see where this leads over the next few days, and to see if the President, and his advisers, are considering the entire religious community in their order, or only Christians. If it’s the latter, and the order is signed, expect not only a strong and immediate backlash, but also more along the lines of the law of unintended consequences as non-Christians leverage this to their advantage.

Good night my bitches, until next time,
denise

To Boldly Go…

February 1, 2017 — Leave a comment

Hello again my bitches and good evening! What a fun day it’s been!

Remember those cute little black, patent leather Mary Jane’s? Well this bitch wore them to work today wither her jeans and a dress shirt! Talk about sassy! I was strutting my ass all over the office and I did not give one fuck about what people thought. I was me today and I thought they looked cute as hell on me!

That’s not to say I DIDN’T get a few compliments on them 🙂

But that’s not all my no-so-gentle readers! There’s more!

I’m really getting anxious to transition full-time to Denise but there’s one problem: Wardrobe. Assuming I’m flexible, I have one black skirt that will work with three different tops. So that’s what, 3 different outfits? Then I have the red sweater dress, so 4. That really isn’t enough to sustain a girl for long in the office place. I’m pretty sure my co-workers would be tired of my sassy ass by the end of the second week. They’d be like “Girl, you need to change your outfits more often!” Not to mention, I needed an outfit to go with those pink pumps.

So this bitch got home, changed into that red sweater dress, applied some evening make-up and wig, and headed to the department store. 20170131_212006And guess what this bitch found? A cute floral print pencil skirt and two blouses! There’s the skirt to the right with the new pink pumps. What do you think my bitches?

And, here’s where this sassy bitch go real! I browsed around about 20 minutes and had picked out several options including the skirt and some blouses. And just like any girl shopping I walked right into the fitting rooms without batting an eye. Three of the tops and another skirt I tried on just didn’t work out. But that floral pencil skirt and another cream top with black lace down the side did! So I dropped the ones I didn’t like at the recovery rack and sauntered back out to the store. I found a few more tops to try on and back to the fitting room.

There was a cute black top that not only fit, but also worked well with the skirt (or in my opinion it did). And as I was in the changing room I heard several employees come in to clear out the recovery rack. That’s when I took a chance and walked out to the big wrap-around mirror to try and get a feel for the whole look. One of the ladies looked at me and said “I just love that skirt! It looks great on you! And, I wouldn’t have thought about that top with it, but they go well together”

I was practically beaming!

And on top of all of it, I am in the women’s dressing room for the very first time. There was no anxiety, nervousness, or fear. Nor did I have any second thoughts of what people would think or how they would react. I was just being who I am: Denise. And I was loving every minute of it.

I then took my last items, hung up the ones that didn’t fit or work out, and headed to the register to check out. The lady complimented me on my choices and again said that skirt was one of her favorites. And, as I was paying, another clerk walked up with some returns and she complimented my shoes. A very big win tonight and I’m still on cloud nine bitches!

Until next time my bitches,

Ciao,
denise

My Bitches, My Tribe

January 31, 2017 — Leave a comment

Good evening my bitches! (More on that later). But for now, let me say that Denise is loving life!

Tonight, a co-worker and I met for dinner, drinks and a movie. And by “met” I mean I went to work as D, came home and changed into a pencil skirt, blouse, and my new Mary Jane’s, put on my wig and some evening wear make-up then went to a restaurant for light dinner and drinks before going to see M. Knight Shyamalan’s Split.

I arrived a few minutes before her and walked straight to the bar, strutting my sassy ass, head up. (FYI, this was the first time being dressed at this particular establishment which is a well-known and popular chain restaurant). The bar was full when I walked in so I grabbed a spot a the community table. And I didn’t have to wait long. My friend/co-worker arrived within 5 minutes and I saw her walk through the door.

I had told her beforehand that she would be meeting Denise there and even asked her today “Pink pumps or black Mary Jane’s?” She looked at the photos on my phone and said “Mary Jane’s”.

It was a bit amusing watching her look for me. I had texted her that I was at the community table so I watched as she scanned the bar area looking for me. I finally raised my hand and waved and even then it took a moment for it to register that it was me.

She walked over with a huge smile saying how she didn’t recognize me at all and how amazing I looked. I think one of her most poignant comments was that “if I didn’t already know you as D, and had just met you, I would have a hard time telling that you were not a woman”. I think that means a few things. First, that this IS the real me and that comes through. And second, that I must be doing something right with make-up, clothes, and dress 😉

We talked for about an hour and had some light dinner. She was amazed at how at ease and natural I looked and acted. And, it really did feel amazing to be out again, being myself.

I won’t bore everyone with all the details the rest of the evening. We just had good conversation, girl talk, shop talk, and more, and then went to the movies. In the end, I can only reiterate that I know I am where I belong and that I am now thinking of hastening my timeline to transitioning full-time to Denise. My limiting factor is just obtaining enough wardrobe to sustain me for a week of work plus the weekends.

Now, onto other matters my bitches! And it pertains to that phrase I use for my readers and followers. As was pointed out in a comment from the other day, I do not (as I hope everyone understands) use it derogatorily. Rather, I use it as a sense of tribe, or oneness. I hope you, my not-so-gentle readers, understand that.

I use it because I feel, as readers and followers, that you understand me and where I am coming from not matter what continent, walk of life, or circumstance brought you to me journey (and me to yours).

And on that note, my bitches, I bid everyone good night, bon nuit, buenos noches, dobre vechir, and shub shaam.

denise

 

 

Hello Denise!

January 30, 2017 — 1 Comment

Hello my bitches! Good to see everyone again!

What a happy ending to the weekend! To start (or finish), I received the lovely “Hello Denise!” greeting from my laptop when I logged in via camera 🙂 My computer knows me!

Second, this girl got some new shoes this weekend! I found an amazing shoe store that caters to dancers, burlesque performers, and the trans/cross-dressing community. I bought a pair of pink pumps and a pair of black Mary Jane’s.  Here there are on my desk, and on my feet.

20170129_164734 20170129_171552
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I also found a fabulous pair of boots! I want, want, want, want want!!!! They fit and feel simply amazing. whitelaceupbootI feel like that old kitchen faucet commercial (the couple brings in a pull out faucet to the architect and says “Build us a house around this”). That is, I want them so badly I starting to build a wardrobe around them! I’m thinking denim skirt, cute white top for one outfit. Or, a red sweater dress I saw on Long Tall Sally, with black tights. What are your thoughts my bitches What would YOU wear with these boots?

Until next time,

Ciao,
denise

Poker Night

January 28, 2017 — 3 Comments

Good morning bitches! Friday was just awesome! I had my phone consult with the potential therapist who specializes in LGBT and gender identity issues and already have my first physical appointment with her in a few weeks. Hooray!

And then there was poker night! I got off a bit late from work, rushed home, redid my make-up (more like touched it up for evening wear), and changed. I was back out the door in under 45 minutes and raring ready to go! What do you think bitches, did I do justice with my poker/resting bitch face? 😉 restingbitchfaceI did well at poker, had a blast and enjoyed every minute as Denise. And, in my opinion, it’s evenings, days, etc, when I’m dressed and can be me and feel happy and free that I know this is the real me.

Ta ta for now bitches!
denise

Almost Friday…

January 27, 2017 — Leave a comment

Hello there my bitches! Friday is almost here! (For some of not so gentle readers it may already BE here).

And Friday is important for not because it’s the last day before the weekend. First off, I have a phone consult with a therapist who specializes in LGBT identities and issues. I am hoping she can provide me at least some initial guidance and understanding of where I am and where my next steps are. I know I am ready to experience the world as Denise.

Secondly, I have  meeting in the afternoon with the head of my company’s HR department. Yikes! Actually bitches, it’s not that bad 🙂 My company is very progressive as I’ve mentioned in previous posts. The meeting is more to inform them of where I am, what my plans are (additional counseling), where I want to be soon, and what steps I need to take within the company, and what steps, if any, they need to take.

It’s a lot to take in, but, it’s a step forward. Hopefully by the end of tomorrow I’ll have  better understanding of at least the near future and plans to make a girl’s dreams reality.

And lastly, there’s another poker night tomorrow and I’ve already planned to go as Denise. That will be two nights out of three I’ve been out as myself. It’s been such a relief and I’m eagerly looking forward to it.

To that end, I did some shopping tonight in order to help get me to some of those goals. I bought a another pair of tights (black) and two pair of high-wasted control top sheer pantyhose (one black, one nude).

wirefree-cami

Wirefree shaping cami

I also bought a black, wire-free shaping camisole (I have it on now my bitches!)

So look out bitches, Denise is coming!

ciao!d