Archives For June 2017

Good evening my bitches! What a fun day it’s been! Another warm one here and I’m home now, relaxing as best I can and trying to cool down in some nice boy shorts and a cami and watching a beautiful sunset over the mountains. 20170612_203128

I can’t complain 🙂

That said, I made a bold fucking statement this afternoon and I’m feeling proud of myself. My company has a golf league and this was our second round and it was a tad toasty (my car was reading 93 degrees F when I finished).

And with it as warm as it is, I dressed as any fashionable gurl would in a bright, comfortable wick-away skort and polo. But, as hot and bright as it was I needed a cap or hat. I’ve been looking for weeks and I can’t find any that fit. Women’s caps won’t fit even without the wig, and men’s caps are too small with the wig on. Sigh….

But today, bitches, I said fuck it! I dropped my bag off at the clubhouse and met my co-worker/golf partner and we strapped out clubs on the back of the cart. He asked what I was going to do about my hair (it was also rather windy) and I told him of my cap dilemma. And that’s when I decided that comfort was more important than image.

We hopped in the cart and I drove back to my car. I took my wig off and donned one of my old running caps then we turned around and headed for the first tee-box. And guess what my bitches? First off, I didn’t really didn’t give a fuck. I’m me and I can present however the fuck I want. And maybe that positive attitude carried forward because know what else? I not only felt fantastic but I thought I even looked fantastic! It was me and I was enjoying life. So fuck off world! My overall gender presentation may be female or feminine, but I will wear whatever the fuck I want, even with my buzzed and greying man-hair underneath.

Ta ta my bitches, until next time…
denise

Good afternoon my bitches! I must apologize for the lengthy absence here, alas, life (and work) oftentimes gets in the way.

With that out of the way, let’s get down to business shall we? What an exciting (and at times a nit anxiety filled) weekend. The weather is starting to get downright toasty here are Summer fast approaches (it was 90 degrees yesterday) and I think everyone knows what that means. Yes, pool and swim season. And guess what my bitches? I went out bought some swimwear! Yikes!

It’s been on my mind a bit lately as I’m planning a trip to the Caribbean this Fall. I love snorkeling and am PADI certified and would love to immerse myself in those clear, warm waters again. But what to wear?

Between my undersized male breasts and my silicone forms I’ve found beach wear a bit of a dilemma. With the tops of most suits tending to “emphasize” a woman’s attributes, trying to go “au natural” will be (or seem to me) a bit obvious. As will stuffing any swimwear with my silicone forms. It’s one thing to hide the sides and color of the forms under a bra beneath a dress or a blouse, but with many swim tops, it would be quite evident that my bosom is anything but natural.

To that end I’ve been looking for tops that are a bit more modest such as rash guards, lap suits (image right) asLapsuit they seem to have plenty of coverage. And as I said at the top of the post, it’s getting warm where I live so I sucked it up and a friend and I sent shopping.

Aside from being initially confused by the different sizing (we went to a plus-sized shop) it all went well. And that’s when it hit me. I was trying my second top and looking in the mirror and for the first time I did not see a male body staring back at me. I saw a female body. Then I put on the next top, and it fit! And it looked great! (See featured image). And as I was looking in the mirror I realized then: the size is just a number. I looked good in the top, it looked good on me, and it fit well. That is all that mattered. I was extremely excited and just wanted to get out of the store, go home, and go to the pool! I can’t remember a feeling of such “femaleness” since I transitioned and I love it! I love me! And I love my journey as Denise!

Till next time my bitches!

Ciao,
denise