Archives For December 2016

It wasn’t too long ago that the Boy Scouts of America found themselves embroiled in the sexual orientation political  maelstrom due to its policy banning members or leader who were gay. Over the course of about a year the council revised its stance and followed the course of the rest of the country in non-discrimination rights and practices. That is: the organization would not (and can’t) use sexual orientation to deny membership. And we all thought that was settled until this week. USA Today broke two stories: one a positive piece on National Geographic’s cover of a trans girl (and in-depth article on gender revolution) then secondly, their story yesterday on a trans boy’s removal from his Cub Scout pack.

As I read in a Facebook article yesterday, a young, transgender boy was removed from his Cub Scout pack because he was in fact born biologically female.

I took that first article with a grain of salt, not that I didn’t believe it, but more from the “it was on Facebook” perspective. Because, as we all know my lovelies, not everything on the Internet, much less Facebook, is true.

But today the story appeared on several new sites that are rather more reliable. I’m including a link to the story from USA Today as reported through MSN. However, tonight’s post isn’t as much about the story as it is the response.

I’ll have to admit that in some aspects I wasn’t surprise at the negative reaction. Many commenting on the article calling the parent’s abusive, saying that CPS should be brought in and remove the child, etc (back to this later). What was more surprising to me was the lack of religious fervor in the comments. I more than expected to see reactions like “God didn’t create these psychos”, quotes from Leviticus condemning gay people, and more. That aside, I’ll return to the common thread among the respondents.

I’ll be the first to admit that there is a lot of misleading information regarding gender identity, transgender, intersex people. And it can be confusing to filter fact from fiction. I myself can attest to that as I’m still trying to figure out where and what I am, and where I fall on the gender spectrum. But in the end, does it really matter? Why do we as a society feel that we have the right, or need, to judge people, and their actions or beliefs particularly when they are different?

Why can’t we as a society let people be free to live the lives they are comfortable with regardless of how they identify or express themselves? Why do we have to mock, tear down, and vilify those that aren’t the same as us?

If a person, as a parent, doesn’t understand transgender, or intersex issues, that’s one thing. But when their child is confused, seems to be acting out, or struggling with their identity, what is more supportive and helpful? Trying to understand and figure it out with their child, and being supportive of the child in their exploration? Or making them adopt the parent’s view-point, restricting their exploration and discovery?

In my opinion, it’s the former and the latter can only bring about more trauma, confusion, and, as can be seen in numerous articles, physical harm. Suicide rates among transgender people is high enough without the additional stigma and lack of support from family.

So help me, gentle readers. Become an ally, Show support for trans friends and family. Stand up with me and say to others that we’re all humans who just want to live happy lives.

Ciao,

denise

Good evening my lovelies, I hope everyone has recovered from their holiday festivities. As for me, well, it’s a process. My introverted nature is demanding a little respite (primarily from family). I’m tired, my lovelies, and my brain needs a break from people. But, true to my word, I’m working to keep this blog active and current.

On that note, I really don’t have much to share. I was too tired and slept until the last possible minute this morning. As such I barely had time to shower and dress much less don my “daily wear”. Not that I didn’t have the desire. It was more a matter of inertia and initiative.

I know there are some pressing news items on the political front with regard to LGBT issues but again, my brain is just not in a place to deal with them at the moment. Although, I did just read a story about a transgender boy being removed from his Cub Scout pack. I’ll do some research and follow-up my bitches.

For now though, ciao…

Denise

Whew! (Or heavy sigh, take your pick my lovelies).

Yes, they are over. I made it through! (Did you?) I had my last family obligations today and it went… Ok, I made it through.

I got over my trepidation and nervousness and decided for closer to my normal daily wear. That is (besides my foundation, concealer, and powder) I opted for eye liner (top and bottom) with a small cat eye corner, and dark grey shadow with my dark orange MAC blush powder as an accent color.

My sister was the first to notice which was not surprising. But it was a nonchalant “Oh, you’ve got make-up on today” type of thing. I gave her a quick “Yep, feeling festive” response and we moved on. My brother, the ultraconservative Christian, snickered and made a comment, but we soon moved on. I caught him snickering or giving me weird grins later on as if he were mocking me. But hey, I don’t do this for him or anyone else. He can keep his narrow minded opinion.

Then, about an hour and a half into lunch, he left and I swapped places so I could sit directly across from my sister and talk. We were having a good conversation when the first bomb dropped from my mom: “When did you turn away from God?” <Insert crickets chirping>

It had actually started a bit earlier when she gave me a Christian necklace with a Bible verse on it. I looked at it and thanked her. As I was putting it back in the box she asked if I would wear it. I ignored it and pretended I didn’t hear it. But when the question came up later about turning away from God, she brought it up again. “Are you going to wear it”?

Aside from the tackiness of asking if someone is going to wear something you bought them for a gift, how does one respond? I thought about asking her “If I bought you a pentagram, would you wear that”?

Fortunately I was spared from answering her as that’s when my brother decided to leave and I changed places. Not long afterward she brought it up again “Are you going to wear it”?

I was thinking about how to answer when she followed up with the “when did you turn from God question” among several others. At least these were easier questions to answer although awkward because of how she can’t fathom an atheist. I deflected this time with the standard “I thought it wasn’t polite to discuss religion or politics” statement.

By this time though, the full awkwardness has settled in like fog over London. I looked at my sister and said “we should talk later”. My mom took that as the hint that lunch was through and we began to wrap up and leave. That’s when she noticed my make-up and commented. At least it wasn’t a derogatory or malicious comment and I remarked that I just like to wear it and it allows me to be more artistic and express myself. She looked stunned and didn’t press any further.

Later, my sister and I met for drinks and a good, deep talk. She and I are in a good place and were able to be real, and honest with each other. We both respect each other and have similar beliefs about people and how we should treat those around us. Hint: It’s with respect for everyone’s lifestyle, views, and opinions.

So now I’m back at my hotel, drained emotionally, and tired. I got through it and my family obligations. And that, my lovelies, is why I prefer to spend time with the family I choose, over my biological family.

Ciao,

D

Here we are bitches, one day closer to Christmas. And Sandra Claus is coming to town!

Actually, I’m a bit toned down this weekend as I’m a bit outside my comfort zone. I’m in Texas to visit family and most of them have no clue about my life outside of their little bubble. However, it’s not my family I’m concerned about as the rest of the people I encounter. Why?

Texas is one of the few “bathroom bill” states. A state where if a person isn’t straight, white, and married then you must be a pervert, deranged, mentally unfit, or just “gay” (you know, that derogatory “That’s just gay” attitude).

In general, I honestly don’t care what people think. Everyone has a right to their beliefs and opinions. But in Texas it seems like people who believe and live differently than your’s truly here, not only do not share the “live and let live” philosophy, but

  1. Want to force people to believe that their thought’s, belief’s, opinion’s are correct
  2. Think that anyone outside their belief system is “sick”, or “needs Jesus”, or is “going to hell”

Thus laws like bathroom bills (thankfully voted down). In this forward thinking state the bill would have required people to use bathrooms associated with the gender on their birth certificate. Besides being (in this writer’s personal opinion) a bit backwards, it’s also a bit creepy. For example, how were they to enforce it? Would the state or local municipalities hire extra personnel to check birth certificates and have people pull down their unmentionables to check genitalia? “I’m sorry ma’am, even though you appear to be female and have what appears to be a vagina, your birth certificate says male. Therefore, you’re in violation and are under immediate arrest”.

There have been actual elected officials (mayors, senators, sheriffs to name a few) who have publicly stated they would “beat up”, “shoot”, “kill” any “pervert attempting to use the wrong bathroom”.

Thus my trepidation my (not-so) gentle readers. 20161224_164455I’ve toned down my make-up to just basic daily wear: That is foundation, concealer, powder, and a nude, natural lipstick. (FYI, it’s Revlon’s Champagne on Ice, 205).

More importantly, it’s my nails. I go with my girlfriend every few weeks or so for manis and pedis. Since I am a bit hard on nails and chip the crap out of them just by looking I’ve switched to shellac’s. And this week I went with a heat sensitive, color changing shellac so it’s quite obvious.

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Warm color

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Cold color

Overall, I just go about my business and act natural. I feel like if a person is self conscious, draws attention with their nervousness, that it actually attracts more attention.But, I am on-guard end keep my eyes and ears peeled just in case.

Enough for now my lovelies! Happy Christmas Eve, Happy first day of Hanukkah my lovelies.

Ciao, denise

Merry Christmas Bitches!

December 24, 2016 — Leave a comment

Well, almost, but close enough! Who’s ready for Sandra Claus? (Snickers)

This girl for one! I know it’s been almost a month (I know, I’ve been bad),  since the “exciting weekend” but not a lot has been going on other than working my ass off. Unfortunately my ass isn’t showing the reward.

But, here we are on Christmas Eve, Eve. Other than work nothing really exciting has been going on. My girlfriend though has been impressed with my make-up skills so she’s been asking me to do things for her. For one, she dressed as a Christmas Elf for her office party and asked me for help there. It was my first time putting make-up on anyone else so I went over the night before and practiced, tried different looks, until we found one she liked. We went with the “Frozen” look: Icy blue eye shadow with winged eyeliner, and a glittery-white top coat for sparkle.

As for me, I’ve just been practicing a lot, and even going for the full effect look. And, I think I’ve found my colors for my “day look”.20161223_224012
This is a bit more evening wear as I’m using the grey eye shadow. The main difference is for work it’s a bit more clean. That is, a lighter version of the orange shadow with a thinner eye liner. Several of my female co-workers have commented that they think it’s a fresher look.

I also downloaded the Mary Kay app for my phone just to play with different looks. This one is actually closer to my daily wear now and other than earrings and lip gloss, that’s all my own make-up, and my wig, all applied by me.
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I now I’m liking it 🙂 What do YOU think my lovelies?

Ciao, and have a wonderful Christmas!
Denise

 

Oh, P.S….

I promise I’ll write more!