I have to admit, I have some pretty cool co-workers. I’ll also admit that I’ve been selectively coming out to those I’m fairly confident are open-minded and would have no issue with my non-traditional gender role.
In the 6 months I’ve been transitioning I’ve been making slow, but (somewhat) subtle changes. The daily wear I mentioned in my previous post is just one example. I’ve been applying that level of make-up daily since September. No one has really mentioned or said anything yet I have caught a few stares or lingering looks. When I first began make-up application prior to work, I talked with one co-worker, who is already aware of our non-traditional relationship models, and asked her to be a sort of barometer. What I meant was to gauge how noticeable, if at all, the level of concealer, powder, and mascara was. At that time her response was “I can barely tell that you’re wearing any now. You’re good. I wish I could apply my make-up that subtly”.
After a few weeks, and comfort levels increasing, I stopped asking her and she never said anything. On another occasion, I was talking to my cubicle mate and she sort of paused, stared at me for a few seconds, looking at me rather quizzically. I asked her what was looking at and she replied “Nothing really, you just look a little different today. I can’t put my finger on what it is”. So I told her. She replied that she never would have guessed but that it looked nice and natural.
Beginning mid to late Summer, I started going for a regular manicure and pedicure and showing up to work with neatly trimmed, and very polished nails. I have more comments on that than anything, but always positive. Most women who notice comment they wish their husbands would take care of the hands better. One even was a bit jealous as my nails were shinier than hers. I even went as far as having the stylist paint one nail completely blue with my favorite baseball team’s logo in white lettering on one nail. I kept that for three weeks without comment before it started to chip and I removed it.
Well today, I upped it one more level and came out to another co-worker. I’ve had my ear pierced since I was 18. I mostly wear small, single gem studs. I have an onyx pair, and a Peridot pair of my own, and my wife gave me a larger topaz set and I rotate them weekly. last night I found a pair of thick, silver hoops with an ivy pattern engraved around it. It’s about a half-inch diameter, and about 1/3 inch thick. It’s much more feminine than the others but I wore it to work today. I did get one comment from one of my close male co-workers this morning. He came up to my cube to ask me a question and said “Yo, I gotta question. Whoa, Medicine Man, cool earring”. I definitely didn’t sense any negativity from him. And, not other comments or remarks throughout the day.
And about mid morning is when I came out to another co-worker. She came over to my cube for advice one some code and was complaining that her feet were hurting and that she hated her shoes. I looked down to see that she had on a pair of cute black pumps with a little 1 inch kitten heel. I told her I didn’t see anything out-of-place with them. They didn’t look like the were pinching anywhere, or too loose so I said “you probably would do better with some trouser socks”. She rolled her eyes and told me no, that heels were a pain in her ass and that she hated wearing them. When I asked her why she replied “Wear a pair for 10 minutes and you’ll know why”.
I paused briefly, not sure how to respond. Do I tell her, and let on? Or do I play it off and just say “Yeah, you’re right”. In the end I decided to tell her. I pulled out my phone and found some old pictures of me en-femme, one specifically showing my legs and feet in heels. The same heels I displayed in one of my first posts last summer. As I showed her the pictures I said “These are 3 inch heels missy. I’ve walked up and down the outdoor mall and I go grocery shopping in these”. She gasped and said “Three inches! No way! These little ones kill me, there’s no way I could wear something like that”. I just grinned back and said “Well, they’re not a problem for me which means I still don’t know why you hate them”. She just rolled her eyes, admitted defeat, and said “Then you go and enjoy them, but not me”.
We wound up finishing the business she originally came over for and before she left I stopped and asked “Well, I hope that revelation didn’t freak you out or blow your mind”. She stopped and said “No, not really, we already know you’re weird”. And it was said in a friendly, non-judgmental way so I knew she was at ease. in fact, later in the day we were even joking about and talking about shoes again.
So in the end, yes, another positive coming out experience. I’m still trying to decide what my next move will be. Fell free to comment and give me ideas my lovelies.
Till next time,