So I decided to wear eye make-up to work today. Not a whole lot, but some. I basically applied some concealer around my eyes. I blended it from just below the lower eyelid to the upper cheeks, between the upper lid and the brow, then feathered it out towards my temples and ears. Then a little mineral powder to soften it a bit and finished with a touch of mascara. It’s not that noticeable but if anyone looked close they could probably tell I had make-up on.
As I was heading to work, I got to thinking about the “why” I do this. The short answer is that today I felt like feeling pretty and maybe a bit sexy. And that leads to a much longer answer. First off, now that I’ve come out as enjoying cross dressing and dressing up as a woman, I’m getting more comfortable in my own skin. But again, the question is why?
Deep down inside me I feel both male and female (or neither male or female depending on how you look at it). I have strong desires that society would call “masculine” and also desires the society would call “feminine”. I also have physical traits that tend to go both ways. I have a more masculine facial structure, but more feminine bone and muscle structure. There are people in non-gender binary communities who have names for this. Some use a-gender while others use gender-queer, gender fluid or even pan-gender. I’m really not about labels as I am who I am. That said, if I had to pick from a label, I’d use gender fluid as it seems to be how I feel from day-to-day. That is, I float back and forth between the male and female feelings and desires. So today I felt much more feminine and went with make-up.